Donald Trump claims 1775 revolutionary army took over airports ‘using only laser guns and hover-boards’

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President of the United States, Donald Trump, has insisted that an elite group of hover-boarding laser gun warriors in the revolutionary army took over airports controlled by George III’s regime, before going on to storm the beaches of Normandy which resulted in the end of World War 3.

In his 4th of July speech celebrating the USA’s independence from Great Britain, President Trump said, “In 1066 our forefathers began the great struggle of throwing off the yoke of British oppression, and freeing all the peoples of this great land, Black, White, indigenous, all completely free.

“The revolutionary army’s first battle was a bloody one. Waterloo will go down in history as a day where American heroes were made, under the command of General Nelson, and Admiral Napoleon, they achieved a great victory against the Boar republic.

“Once Alexander, who was very very great, took up command of the 4th infantry battalion stationed in Crimea, Ohio, the British didn’t stand a chance. Using only laser guns and mounted on hover-boards, the Greats troops stormed the British held airports and space centres and swept the enemy aside.

“The day after that they went on to storm the beaches of Normandy and brought to an end World War 3 in the autumn of 1601.

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“These patriots are the cornerstone of our great nation, and we should all be grateful for their sacrifice, and the history they made must never be forgotten.

“So, here, on the 4th of June I salute our brave warriors by saying God save the King!!”