Tory MPs have rejected outsider Rory Stewart’s bold new vision of a Prime Minister who tells the country the truth.
Mr Stewart had become the breakout star of this campaign by trying to patiently explain to people that the country is in a bit of a pickle and that bluster, shouting and ‘believing in Brexit’ might not be enough to sort everything out.
“It’s absolutely essential that the Tory Party maintains its core principle of not telling the truth,” explained Tory MP and sexual deviant Simon Williams.
“These are perilous times, and so it’s important we have a prime minister who lies to everyone and repeatedly tells the nation that everything is going to be fine.
“No one wants to hear that the country faces an impossible situation, that any decision to do anything at all would cause anger and recrimination amongst a huge proportion of society and that the whole bloody thing is our fault.
“So, I think Rory might have been on a hiding to nothing from the off.”
Both Boris Johnson, Jeremy Hunt, and Sajid Javid laughed when asked if they were planning on taking a leaf out of Mr Stewart’s book and telling the truth.
Michael Gove said he was planning on telling the truth, but it is believed he was lying when he said it.
It is also thought that Mr Stewart’s message of telling the truth was particularly ill-timed as he would, as Prime Minister, would be going up against Jeremy Corbyn, a man whose principle Brexit tactic is not telling the truth about how he feels about Brexit.