Wednesday 19 June 2019 by HappyToast

Boris Johnson criticised for taking off his trousers during leadership debate


Boris takes his trousers off

Boris Johnson has been criticised for taking off his trousers during last night’s leadership debate, believing that Rory Stewart’s removal of his tie indicated they could all ‘get comfortable’.

As Emily Maitlis began asking him for his definitive plan for Brexit, Johnson stood and removed his belt in what many believed was the beginning of a live example of his seduction technique.

However, Johnson merely lowered his trousers, stepped out of them, and took his seat once again before avoiding the question entirely.

As others in the debate looked on aghast, Johnson continued to insist that October 31st was an absolute deadline for leaving the EU, but also refused to rule out going beyond it – a contradictory position missed by millions due to him being naked from the waist down.

Political correspondent Simon Williams told us, “There were words coming out of his mouth, but I’ll be honest, he successfully distracted me with his antics. It’s almost like he’s built an entire career on such distractionary tactics, but this is clearly an escalation.

“What would he do if he was chairing a meeting of the G7? Start a nude conga? At some point, we’re going to have to actually listen to what he says. God forbid.”

In the spin room afterwards, Boris told reporters, “I think that all went rather well, don’t you? It’s so delightful to let the little fella breathe in moments of stress. It’s how I like to conduct all my calls back in my constituency office.

“Wait, this wasn’t radio?”

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