Sunday 16 June 2019

Man enjoying day of pampering as reward for successful ejaculation


man enjoying father's day

A Basingstoke man is enjoying a day of being pampered as a reward for a successful ejaculation he experienced nearly ten years ago.

Simon Williams, 37, had a lie-in and breakfast in bed, sort-of prepared by the result of said ejaculation and is currently reading the papers

“In these troubling times, it’s nice that we can take a few hours to celebrate an unspecified ejaculation from a decade ago.

“It’s just nice to be recognised, not for my work, or some sporting or artistic endeavour, but for a perfunctory bout of love-making that almost certainly followed a bottle of wine and a take-away.

“Just think, if I’d worn a condom I’d probably be being pestered to mow the lawn right about now.”

Williams admitted that he wasn’t sure Father’s Day warranted all the attention it receives.

He went on, “I’m not saying I don’t like it, it just… you know. Feels a bit much. It’s not like what I did was particularly difficult.

“I’ve got to be honest, the ejaculation was its own reward.”

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