Man enjoying day of pampering as reward for successful ejaculation

author avatar by 5 years ago
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A Basingstoke man is enjoying a day of being pampered as a reward for a successful ejaculation he experienced nearly ten years ago.

Simon Williams, 37, had a lie-in and breakfast in bed, sort-of prepared by the result of said ejaculation and is currently reading the papers

“In these troubling times, it’s nice that we can take a few hours to celebrate an unspecified ejaculation from a decade ago.

“It’s just nice to be recognised, not for my work, or some sporting or artistic endeavour, but for a perfunctory bout of love-making that almost certainly followed a bottle of wine and a take-away.

“Just think, if I’d worn a condom I’d probably be being pestered to mow the lawn right about now.”

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Williams admitted that he wasn’t sure Father’s Day warranted all the attention it receives.

He went on, “I’m not saying I don’t like it, it just… you know. Feels a bit much. It’s not like what I did was particularly difficult.

“I’ve got to be honest, the ejaculation was its own reward.”