British summer has well and truly begun, with reports coming in that the rain is almost four degrees warmer than it was in December.
Britons up and down the country are dripping with what might be confused with sweat if you didn’t know any better, as spring rains are confirmed to have finally given way to summer rains – meaning the country is in for months of slightly-warmer than usual precipitation.
Torrential downpours up and down the country had led to some people claiming that summer had not begun, but boffins at the Met Office have set them straight by revealing water temperatures are a seasonably balmy eleven degrees.
“Summer officially begins when you can come in out of the rain and not say ‘Brrrrrr!’ and immediately put the kettle on,” said Met Office spokesman Simon Williams.
“And yesterday several of our staff got into work and it was at least twenty minutes before anyone started to brew up, so that’s final. This is summer, and you can expect the rain not to chill you to the marrow for the forseeable.
“We estimate that the rain will be warmer until at least mid-September this year, meaning that people can plan to have their barbeques and village fayres ruined months in advance.”