Thursday 13 June 2019

Sadiq Khan congratulated for making London a Jim Davidson-free zone


Sadiq Khan

London mayor Sadiq Khan has been congratulated this afternoon after it was confirmed that his policies have made London the envy of the nation by ensuring it is an entirely Jim Davidson free zone.

Davidson confirmed he will not return to London thanks to Sadiq Khan’s policies, delighting millions of Londoners who previously risked getting within a few feet of Davidson each time they wandered onto the streets of the nation’s capitals.

Londoner Simon Williams told us, “London has many problems, but thankfully the risk of an encounter with Jim Davidson is no longer one of them.

“The thing with Jim Davidson is that you never really knew if he was close by. One minute you’re just enjoying a coffee outside a coffee shop, the next he’s scuttling past and you’re being exposed to jokes about darkies and the disabled.

“I grew up in a house where Chubby Brown DVDs were non-ironic Christmas presents, so I’m kind of immune to it, but I know there are plenty of people who’ll be delighted that he’s a pest that’s been completely eradicated in London.

“There are parts of the country where people are completely used to seeing Jim Davidson – can you imagine?”

The London Mayor spoke after Davidson made his announcement, telling millions of Londoners, “You’re welcome.”

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