Country ‘looking forward’ to leaderless chaos after Theresa May quits, finds survey

author avatar by 5 years ago

A new survey has found that the majority of the country is relishing the prospect of several months of leaderless chaos following the two years of Theresa May’s leadership.

Over 60% of people who responded to the survey said that they were ‘looking forward’ to the prospect of leaderless chaos, with a further 28% agreeing with the statement that ‘leaderless chaos would be a boost to the economy and prospects of the country after a Theresa May Premiership’.

“Oh yes, leaderless chaos is going to be brilliant, I can’t wait,” said Simon Williams, a normal human being.

“I mean, with Theresa May in charge all you had to look forward to was another week of everything going wrong, stupid decisions, and utter contempt for poor people and foreigners.

“Now, with leaderless chaos, anything could happen – rioting in the streets, mass strikes, who knows?

NewsThump Best sellers

“But, you know, even if the entire nation descends into a lawless, Mad Max-style wasteland of despotic fiefdoms ruled by insane maniacs, the country might have a bit of optimism about it, and at least we wouldn’t be a complete laughing stock on the world stage anymore.”

The survey also confirmed what many expected, that the country would prefer an ‘indefinite period of leaderless chaos’ to the prospect of any of the current crop of Tory leadership contenders becoming Prime Minister.