Tuesday 4 June 2019 by DavyToast

Boris adopts new Trump haircut as he launches leadership bid


Boris Johnson unveils new Trump hair

Boris Johnson has been accused of blatantly copying the US President as he showed off his latest new hairdo at the launch of his bid for Tory leader yesterday.

Boris, who is famous for his unattractive and badly-styled hairdo, revealed a new unattractive and badly-styled hairdo which he denied was in any way inspired by President Trump, despite it being a blatant copy of the infamous comb-over.

“I think it’s a dashed ballyhoo tippety-whiffle,” he said when confronted, whilst carefully avoiding ruffling his new, oddly solid coiffure in any way.

“I’ve not changed my hair in any way whatsoever, I’ve always done it this way,” he added in direct contravention of observable reality, so nothing new there really.

“I have always been this slim and neatly presented, and any suggestion that I’ve desperately jumped on a bandwagon in the hope of currying favour with the President, or basking in his reflected glory is the most tendentious scuttlebutt,” which isn’t actually a denial when you think about it.

We asked Professor Simon Williams of Kettering University department of Cockwomble Follicology, who told us “There is a reasonable chance that Donald Trump was actually wearing a wig all this time, which he has now passed on to Boris because he got his new ‘Biff Tannen’ hairstyle.

“Trump’s old hair was often described as a ‘Golden Helmet’, which applies curiously well to Boris as well – so I suppose this is appropriate.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: