The US Embassy in London has had rubber sheets fitted to the guest beds in the Ambassadors residence in anticipation of President Trump’s state visit.
President Trump has arrived in the UK and US embassy staff are fearful he will be keen to make himself ‘at home’.
“Yeah, it was important to be prepared if the President was planning to have, you know, guests round, whilst he’s staying in London,” said Simon Williams, an aide to the US ambassador who really can’t believe it’s come to this.
“He’s got a pretty busy schedule, so he’s going to want to wind down in the evenings, and if he decides to call on some well-paid, incredibly broad-minded young women to entertain him then they can all do whatever they need to do safe in the knowledge that the mattresses won’t be ruined.”
It is understood that the rubber sheets were sourced from the Harrods Department for Well-heeled Perverts.
“Nothing but the best for the President,” confirmed Mr Williams.
“I guess that when he was a student, he’d have been happy with a trashcan-liner, but now he’s the most powerful man in the free world, he deserves the finest rubber sheets available.”
The embassy has also cancelled all leave for the laundry department for the duration of the President’s visit and several days afterwards.
It is also rumoured that, following the fitting of the rubber sheets, spy cameras have also been fitted in the guest rooms by a polite young man with a heavy Russian accent.