Irony-free Tories demand second vote of confidence in Theresa May insisting ‘the will of the MPs’ has changed since December

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A group of irony-free pro-Brexit Tory MPs are insisting on a re-run of the confidence motion in Theresa May because they are confident people will vote differently knowing what they do today.

Leading backbench figures have insisted that Theresa May was only able to win the previous confidence vote because she told lies about her Brexit deal, and that MPs should now be able to change their mind and put a stop to the unending shit-show of her stewardship.

ERG Chairman Jacob Rees-Mogg said, “Yes, the last confidence vote was only six months ago, but a lot has changed in that time.

“We voted at the time based on what we thought was going to happen, but it hasn’t turned out that way – so we get to change our minds and vote again. That’s how democracy works you see.

“Theresa promised us things that in hindsight were never deliverable, and that is an affront to the democratic principles we all work under in parliament. She must be held accountable, and those of us that fell for her mistruths should be given the opportunity to change our minds and correct that mistake.

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“We must vote again on our confidence in Theresa, and she must go. If our MPs are unable to change their minds, then this nation ceases to be a democracy.”

Other leading Brexit figures were approached for comment.

Former foreign secretary and elite political opportunist Boris Johnson told us, “Ah. I see where you’re going with this. And no. This is very different.

“You see, I want MPs to be given the opportunity to change their minds six months later because it’s beneficial to me. Whereas a people’s vote giving people the opportunity to change their minds three years later would be beneficial to other people.

“See? Chalk and cheese.”