Tuesday 30 April 2019 by Neil Tollfree

Remain parties’ European Election strategy is to hope everything sorts itself out


man hoping everything will be alright

With Nigel Farage’s Brexit Party having gathered 100,000 Facebook likes and announcing a raft of EU election candidates in a matter of a week, the Remain parties have hit back with a robust strategy of just sort of hoping everything sorts itself out.

Change UK, the new centrist party that no one can remember the name of, originally deployed an unusual strategy of having party-members make faintly racist statements in interviews.

However, they have now subsequently switched to a policy of hoping everything sorts itself out.

“I would imagine that most people now agree that staying in the EU is the best plan,” said leader Heidi Allen.

“As such, there’s no real need to campaign, so we’ll just be hoping everything sorts itself out and people just decide to vote for us.”

The Liberal Democrats – whoever they are these days – agreed.

“Oh, it’s obvious that most people want to remain in the EU now,” said whoever is currently their leader.

“Just because the Brexit party has the country’s highest-profile politician, a coherent message and a bigger Facebook presence than Facebook itself, doesn’t mean that we have to do anything extreme like putting together a coherent EU election campaign

“I’m sure it’ll just sort itself out.”

The only outlier is the Labour Party, who may or may not be a remain party.

When asked for their stance on the EU and the upcoming elections, a spokesperson for the party went and hid in a bush and made bird noises until everyone went away.

Which is by far the clearest statement the party has ever made on Brexit.

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: