Tuesday 30 April 2019

ISIS leader appears on video to address his organisation’s poor Glassdoor ratings


Abu-Bakr-Al-Baghdadi on glassdoor ISIS reviews

ISIS leader Abu Bakr Al-Baghdadi has appeared on video for the first time in four years to address ongoing concerns about the rating his organisation has on Glassdoor, which is affecting recruitment efforts.

With a long-standing sub-1-star average rating on the employer review platform, and scathing reviews published from those within his organisation, Al-Baghdadi felt it was time to address the issue head-on.

In the video he spoke to supporters, explaining, “Like any start-up operation, we face many teething issues, but I am big enough to admit we might have oversold our proposition to new members of the ISIS family over the last few years.

“Many might have been told we were an expanding organisation and that we offered huge opportunities for career progression, only to find themselves hiding in a cave from relentless drone strikes or blown up by one of the many military forces kicking our arse.

“Some were also told they could join ISIS to find true love, only to find married life in ISIS is pretty shit, and themselves living in a refugee camp as a widow at 19 years of age. With hindsight, that wasn’t ideal.”

Al-Baghdadi said he has listened, and that ISIS will be much more employee-friendly moving forward.

He concluded, “I have taken your feedback on board, and from today our recruitment will be much more honest.

“So I say to you, my fellow potential ISIS family members, if you want to live in squalor and spend your days being hunted down by the best-equipped militaries in the world, join ISIS!”

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