Man still sitting in cinema waiting for Endgame post-credit sequence

author avatar by 5 years ago

Local man Simon Williams, 33, is still sitting in the cinema waiting for the Endgame post-credits sequence, it has emerged.

Simon, who went to the evening showing of the film yesterday, is convinced that Marvel is ‘playing the long game’ and there’ll be a sequence after the credits, the lights have come on and everyone else has gone home if he waits long enough.

Cinema staff have been bringing him a lot of water and waiting to lock the doors when he finally cracks and goes to the toilet.

“It’s the sort of clever move Marvel pull,” Simon told cleaners who would like him to leave now please so they can do their jobs.

“Probably some sort of teaser for Spiderman: Far from Home, or maybe Captain Marvel 2 or the next Black Panther.

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“If I wait long enough I’ll get a hint of some sort of galaxy-threatening power that will have to be faced and ultimately defeated with a combination of superpowers, good-humoured wit and a celebration of the human spirit – and you losers will miss it and I won’t.

“Or maybe they could hint at Stan Lee coming back?”, he added, before wiping one eye with a sleeve and hoping nobody noticed.