Friday 5 April 2019 by Neil Tollfree

Harry and Meghan took my Instagram account says Barry Fuckallpeasants


Man loses instagram account to Harry and Meghan

A Sussex man has spoken of his surprise that Prince Harry and wife Meghan have been given his Instagram account name.

Barry Fuckallpeasants found out that he had lost his account @Fuckallpeasants when he tried to log into Instagram yesterday.

“Yeah, it just said that the password was wrong, then I found out that Harry and Meghan had got a new Instagram account and it was my name,” said a disappointed Mr Fuckallpeasants.

He contacted Instagram to complain that he had lost his account and found they were unwilling to help.

“No, they just said that Harry and Meghan really wanted their account to be @Fuckallpeasants and they’re a Prince and Princess so they can do what they like.”

Mr Fuckallpeasants found it hard to understand why they’d want his account name.

“It’s weird, because Fuckallpeasants is quite an unusual surname, I’ve never heard of anyone else who’s called that.”

He didn’t believe that he was related to the Royal couple in any way.

“Perhaps Meghan’s got some Fuckallpeasants in her ancestry, but when my deat old Mum sent off to get our family tree done, she would definitely have mentioned it if I’d had a distant cousin who was in Suits.”

Resigned to losing his account, Mr Fuckallpeasants has opened a new account named after his unusual middle name.

However, he has heard a rumour that The Queen is considering opening an Instagram account and is concerned.

“I’ve every respect for Her Majesty, but if she thinks I’m giving up @Mysubjectsareshitheads, she’s very much mistaken.”

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