Friday 29 March 2019

Distraught Brexiter takes delivery of all the champagne he forgot to cancel


Brexiter champagne

Brexiter Simon Williams has taken delivery of the champagne order he forgot to cancel, after spending a couple of hundred quid on a dozen personalised bottles of ‘Remainer tears – vintage 29th March 2019’.

Williams, who has spent two years losing arguments online before storming off after saying things like “we’ll be leaving on March 29th 2019 so you need to suck it up and get over it!”, let his bravado get the better of him with the champagne purchase back in September of last year.

He explained, “It seemed like a good idea, we had won, the other side wasn’t getting over it, and 29th March was set in stone – even though lots and lots of people kept reminding me that these things can change quickly and easily.

“I’d lost yet another argument about Brexit online so I decided to rub their noses in it by spending a couple of hundred quid on something that could in no way backfire.

“So I ordered a dozen bottles of fizzy Remainer Tears dated 29th March 2019, which I planned to enjoy with my mates tonight – seemed like a nice way to celebrate finally being right about leaving the EU.

“Do you think they might be worth something on eBay?”

Williams was asked if there were any other plans he might have made while high on Brexit, that might not have gone exactly as he’d imagined.

He shook his head explaining that was a silly suggestion, before shouting, “Shit! I forgot to cancel the room booking at the club – I bet I’ll lose my deposit now.

“No, this is in no way an accurate reflection of the way Leavers make plans and execute them.”

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