Parliament hates absolutely everything

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Parliament has finally spoken on Brexit and declared it hates every option and all avenues available to it.

After MPs voted on eight different options, ranging from a no deal Brexit to revoking Article 50 altogether, the overwhelming consensus was that they think everything is shit.

MP Simon Williams told us, “I think it’s clear that we can no longer rely on knowing what the will of the people is, and now we can’t rely on what the will of parliament is.

“On the plus side, we can tell you an awful lot about what we don’t want.”

Voters have reacted with frustration that after speaking for years about the benefits of parliamentary sovereignty, they have used that power to do precisely fuck all with the most important issue of the century.

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Voter Dave Matthews told us, “Parliament is just like my ex-girlfriend. She would never tell me what she wanted, I just had to guess what she wanted based on the things that she told me she didn’t want.

“I have a bit of experience in this area, so are we quite sure we haven’t considered a Brexit that shits handbags?”