Wednesday 27 March 2019 by Davywavy

Missing gamer found buried under collapsed pile of his own dice


Role player dies under his dice collection

A three-day missing persons hunt has been called off after gamer Simon Williams was discovered buried under a huge pile of dice in his home.

Simon, who was reported missing on Saturday, was located after a search party spotted a distinctive bag of Doritos sticking out from beneath the pile.

An excavator was used to remove the heap, and Simon was found to still be holding his lucky +5 dice of twenty throwing, which police believe he was hunting for when he disturbed his collection.

“We see this sort of thing happen a lot,” the police said in a statement.

“Your gamer goes looking for his special dice to make a critical saving throw or attack Mortarion, and the next thing you know he’s disturbed the heap and it’s all over.

“Fortunately his death was probably quick, as there’s no way that guy had a CON higher than nine or more than four hit points.

“It’s a good thing his collection of paints and miniatures didn’t topple as well, as that would probably have gone through the floor and we’d never have found him.”

Gamers are warmed to wear hard hats when interacting with their collections, and to tell someone where they’re going when trying to find something buried right at the bottom.

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