Tuesday 26 March 2019

We are the ‘Grand Wizards’ not because of the KKK, but because you have to believe in magic to find us credible


Iain Duncan Smith

The fictional Brexit being promised by the self-styled Grand Wizards of the ERG is proving popular amongst voters who think magic is real.

After Iain Duncan Smith, Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees-Mogg faced criticism for calling themselves the Grand Wizards of Brexit, they were quick to point out that it has nothing to do with the Ku Klux Klan, and is all to do with the delusion you must be under to believe they are capable of delivering the Brexit they’ve promised.

As one of Iain Duncan Smith’s support staff explained. “The only way you can still see a Brexit of sunlit uplands is to literally believe that magic is real, and to believe that these men can wave a wand to make it so.

“If you are grounded in reality, like most people, then what they are proposing is patently nonsense – but if you’re the sort of person who thinks Harry Potter is a documentary series, then of course, what they’re saying makes perfect sense.”

Many Brexit voters have reacted positively to the new name.

Mike Smith voted Leave, and backs the Grand Wizards, telling us, “I’ve always wondered why the Irish border is such a big issue, when a couple of spells would do the trick in about two minutes.

“We should never have left this to muggles in the first place.”

However, Brexit supporter Simon Williams, said he felt a little silly after getting the wrong end of the stick and turning up to a pro-Brexit rally after cutting two eye holes in his wife’s best pillowcase.

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