Thursday 21 March 2019 by Lucas Wilde

Mischievous ghost of John McCain replaces Trump’s mid-morning burger with a vegan burrito


Donald Trump haunted by John McCain

John McCain, the friendly ghost, has been haunting Donald Trump.

After another series of bizarre attacks on a dead man, everyone assumed it was just Donald being Donald- i.e. acting a bit of a twat.

“Haha no, it’s because I’m actually haunting him,” giggled the ghost of senator McCain, throwing the President’s mid-morning cheeseburger into the trash and replacing it with a healthy burrito made from some plant-based ingredients.

“He’ll fucking HATE this. He detests any kind of food that doesn’t make his arteries scream.

“Oh come on, don’t give me that look, this is good-humoured mischief. It’s not like I’ve taken a whizz into his diet coke. I’ve tried, mind you, but my urine is as much phantom as I am, so it doesn’t really do anything.

“Ooh, I hear him coming, as a blind pornstar he’s paid to keep quiet might say! Hide.”

President Trump absent-mindedly picked up his burrito without looking, for he was focused on his latest bit of nonsense on Twitter.

Taking a bite from what he thought was a burger, the President chewed, paused and then spat out the mouthful of heart-healthy Mexican snack, before dropping to his knees, raising his arms to the ceiling and yelling “MCAAAAAAIIIIIIINNN!”

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