Wednesday 20 March 2019

Theresa May addresses nation to tell voters that MPs keep being mean to her


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Theresa May has spoken to the nation to say that MPs are being mean to her and keep voting down her deal with the EU.

Speaking live to the entire country, Theresa May explained that she really likes her deal, and thinks it’s a good deal, and that everyone should support her deal, but that the nasty people in the houses of parliament keep saying no.

“I’ve been really nice and explained it to them lots of times, but they keep saying no because they’re all meanies,” she told viewers expecting something slightly more meaningful.

“Yes, I have ensured the nation is glued to the television so I can say – yet again – that my deal is really good and the only reason it’s not going ahead is because lots of MPs are being horrible to me.

“I know you at home all really like my deal, and definitely don’t want a people’s vote on it – even though hundreds of thousands of you will be taking to the streets this weekend to say the opposite – I know this because I just do and anyone who says different is lying.

“So, in case you missed it, my deal is brilliant, everyone should back it, and the only reason MPs aren’t voting for it is because they are nasty mean people who don’t care about democracy.

“Now, I don’t want to make threats because that’s not helpful, but if MPs don’t vote my deal through this time, I might just put Chris Grayling in charge of Brexit.”

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