Monday 18 March 2019 by Davywavy

Ron and Hermione had a threesome with Dobby the House Elf, confirms JK Rowling without anyone asking


Ron and Hermione threesome with Doby house elf

Ron and Hermione had an ‘intense, physical’ relationship with Dobby the House Elf, JK Rowling has announced despite nobody asking or wanting to know.

The announcement was made on Twitter on Saturday morning when most normal people were thinking about their breakfast and maybe nipping to the shop for some milk.

“The practice of giving a house elf clothes to free them arose from allowing them to get dressed after bondage sessions,” she added in a follow-up tweet.

Despite nobody wanting or asking her to, Rowling went on to reveal other relationships at Hogwarts that included a long and passionate affair between Professor Sprout and Firenze the Centaur, the youthful experimentation enjoyed by Professor Snape and Vernon Dursley in Ibiza during the 1990s, and a number of ‘specialist’ movies made by Cho Chang with the giant squid that lives in the lake.

“I love Harry Potter, but JK seems to have spent the last few years writing Slashfic and Yaoi about her beloved characters,” said superfan Simon Williams.

“I’ll be honest, at first I thought it was quite funny and quirky, but it’s started to squick me out now.

“I don’t want to know what Minerva McGonagall keeps in the Room of Requirement, or precisely why Professor Flitwick spends so much time standing in front of the Mirror of Erised slowly licking his lips and rubbing his thighs.

“But at this point, I’m afraid if I unfollow JK’s Twitter feed she’ll come round my house and shout it through the letterbox.”

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