Tuesday 12 March 2019 by Arabin Patson

Triumph for Theresa May as she convinces EU to use a different font on Brexit deal


Theresa May EU Deal

Although unsuccessful in getting any change to the words of the deal on offer by the EU, the Prime Minister’s supporters have highlighted the great victory she achieved by getting the Times New Roman font replaced by Helvetica.

Simon Williams, a political advisor to Theresa May, said that this was an astounding feat of statecraft and should garner the respect and support of Parliament.

He explained, “MPs were clear. They told us to go to back to Brussels and get a substantial change in the deal.

“And we have achieved just that, albeit more in terms of typography than political concessions. Now we can present to the house a deal free of those continental serifs. The EU was not keen but Theresa May stared him down and obtained a legally binding change of font not just on this deal but all subsequent documents.

“MPs can finally peruse the Brexit deal in a pleasant font most favoured by the experts who work in graphic design. It is now time to come together as one and deliver the deal that no one understands, but that the British people most certainly want. Even if every poll indicates otherwise.”

However, there were some early signs that the use of the same font prefered by advertisers might not be enough to break the deadlock. For one, Labour did not comment on the news, preferring to talk about how Jeremy Corbyn would create more bus routes.

The ERG has also not yet delivered an official response but deputy leader Mark Francois did appear on Sky News where he tried but failed to eat a small EU flag before explaining that his Daddy could do push-ups on one arm.

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!

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