Theresa May secures agreement to change Backstop to a Stopback

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Theresa May claimed victory in Brussels last night as she secured an agreement to change the Northern Ireland Backstop to a Stopback.

Returning from a late-night negotiation session with EU officials in Strasbourg, May explained that the changes she has secured are legally binding and would mean that the word ‘backstop’ will fall out of use to be replaced with the new word ‘stopback.’

“I’m pleased to announce that I have secured a legally binding change to the Brexit agreement,” said Theresa May.

“We have removed the backstop from the wording of the deal which, I think, will please many who took issue with the original agreement.

“It will be replaced with the completely different, wholly original new word – ‘stopback’ which is, self-evidently, loads and loads better in every way.”

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The Prime Minister went on to explain how the Stopback differed from the backstop.

“Well, they’re completely different words, aren’t they. I mean, one starts with a ‘b’ and the other with an ‘s’ – huge difference.

“In fact, I’ve checked and if you compare the two words there isn’t even a single letter in the same place. Massive, massive difference.”

It is thought that many people who first opposed Mrs May’s deal will wait to hear the opinion of the DUP before giving their own verdict on the stopback because, apparently, it is the lunatic fringe of Northern Ireland politics who get to decide what’s best for Britain nowadays.

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