Monday 11 March 2019 by Pete Redfern

The EU is run by shape-shifting lizards, insists Esther McVey


Esther McVey

Esther McVey has this morning taken to Twitter to proclaim another little-known fact about the EU.

Esther McVey, the minister for believing everything you read on pro-Brexit Facebook groups, has this morning decided to impart her superior knowledge with the British public.

In a Twitter thread, the Tory Brexiter told her followers, “If Britain was to stay in the EU, then not only are our children at risk of being forced at gunpoint to learn German from the age of two, but we would also be put at serious risk of coming under the direct command of the shape-shifting reptilian beings that run the whole sorry affair.

She went on, “These ‘Archons’, as they are known, have been maintaining their human form and subjecting EU member states to horrors such as the Human Rights Act and equal opportunities for absolutely decades, and if we stay in we shall definitely succumb to their lizardy ways.

“And that’s why I voted to leave – the lizard overlords on the continent. Nothing to do with the scores of foreign people invading my town at all.”

When it was pointed out the lizard thing is nonsense, and asked to retract her statement about our lizard overlords, she tweeted, “Whether you disagree with my assertion or not, I think everyone would agree that an EU run by lizards is a bad thing. True or false?”

Political commentator Simon Williams responded, “Despite everyone’s best efforts to prevent it happening, it appears Esther’s been let loose on the Internet again.

“All this talk of reptilians within the European Parliament is best ignored, just file it away with her other nonsense like every EU born boy must be called Mohammed, or every EU nation having to adopt the Euro as its currency.

“That said, if you look at a recent photo of EU MEP Nigel Farage, there could be something in this lizard theory, after all.”

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