It has been revealed that ex-village idiot and current Transport Secretary Chris Grayling holds a number of nude photos of Theresa May.
It is unknown how he came into possession of the photographs but it is established that he definitely had them in 2016 when he became Transport Secretary.
Despite knowledge of the photographs becoming widespread, Number 10 has denied that they have played any part in Mr Grayling retaining his job in the wake of everything he does and says.
“No, of course Mr Grayling is not blackmailing the Prime Minister,” said a Number 10 spokesperson.
“He is a very able minister.”
Struggling to be heard over the laughter caused by the previous statement, the spokesperson went on.
“No, he is. The press only report on when he gets involved with ferry companies who don’t own ferries, or gives £33million to Eurotunnel for some reason, or denies being responsible for trains – but there are days when he just sits quietly in his office and doesn’t cause any problems at all.
“He happens to have some nude photos of the PM and he happens to remain a minister. These two facts are entirely coincidental.”
It is currently unknown if Liam Fox has any nude photos of the Prime Minister, but he would be a huge surprise if he didn’t.