Brexit lifeline for Theresa May as Jacob Rees-Mogg accepts foreigners might have souls

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The Prime Minister was given hope that her party could unify behind her Brexit deal by a series of comments from ERG leader Jacob Rees-Mogg, that indicated he could live with the idea that non-Britons were human beings.

Although seemingly innocuous, the comment signifies a dramatic shift in the core ideology of the ERG, who so far had refused to countenance any dealings with foreigners as they claimed it would be an unnatural abomination and an insult to God.

Simon Williams, Daily Telegraph columnist and close friend to Mr Rees-Mogg, said that, should it be true, there could be light at the end of the Brexit tunnel for Downing Street.

“You have to understand that for ERG members, talking to foreigners is sacrilegious. Obviously, it makes protracted negotiations difficult. So the fact that Jacob thinks they are creatures animated of God’s free will is a massive change. They would not have to douse briefing papers from Brussels in Holy Water.

“Nor would they require the chief negotiator to expunges his sins of contact through scourging. That was particularly difficult for David Davis. Less so for Dominic Raab. He seemed to enjoy it.”

Jacob Rees-Mogg is said to have made the comments during a private meeting with his local constituency party. Upon hearing that the pub landlord’s Spanish wife had died, the MP is said to have commented: “God bless her soul”.

People in attendance were unable to confirm if he knew the woman was foreign due to all the hissing and rendering of garments.

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!