Monday 18 February 2019 by Neil Tollfree

Jeremy Corbyn supporters celebrate emergence of new thing to blame for his lack of success


Labour supporters welcome new thing to blame

Supporters of Jeremy Corbyn were jubilant this morning as they are now able to blame the party’s lack of success on a small number of MPs who have quit the party.

“This is brilliant news,” said Simon Williams, a leaf-painter and chairman of the ‘We love Jeremy’ online fan club.

“For months now, we’ve had to blame the mainstream media, Tony Blair, and Israel for total failure of Jeremy Corbyn to gain any sort of traction in the polls, and, to be honest, it was starting to get to the point where people were beginning to suspect that it might be that having a rubbish leader was actually preventing Labour being successful – rather than Israel, Tony Blair and the mainstream media.

“Now though, we can all really go for this group of rebel MPs and how, if they hadn’t selfishly split from the party, Jeremy would probably be both Prime Minister and King by now.”

It is expected that members of the ‘We love Jeremy fan club’ will now take to Twitter to posit a variety of rambling diatribes on how it’s all Chuka’s fault interspersed with gifs of an old man shaking his head and some causally anti-Semitic slurs.

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