Nigel Farage’s guide to using private planes but not being part of the establishment elite

author avatar by 5 years ago

Nigel Farage has today reiterated his ‘man of the people’ credentials by publishing his guide to avoiding being part of the establishment elite.

Farage, who used a private plane to get to work yesterday, maintains that it is perfectly possible to be friends with powerful billionaires who can throw money around to influence elections, and still avoid being part of the establishment elite.

As he explained, “Like most hardworking British people, there are times when the only way you can get to work is by chartering a private plane.

“We’ve all been there, I’m sure, and even though I am admittedly skint, I could just about afford the fees after putting my hand down the back of the sofa, just like the poor person I clearly am. Thankfully a kindly anonymous businessman paid for it when he heard about my hardship, which never happens when you’re in the elite.

“There are many ways to avoid becoming part of the establishment elite, but I think the biggest and most important is to make sure you are friends with powerful billionaires who have a strong interest in interfering with democracy.

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“If you can get a photo of yourself with one of those billionaires in his gold lift, then all the better. After all, nothing screams anti-elitism like a solid gold lift.

“Another tip: When you’ve spent twenty years serving the man on the street in politics, there is no better way to establish your anti-elitist credentials than by throwing a party for your millionaire backers at the Ritz. I think the bit where I accepted a painting of me in Trump’s gold lift while stood on the gold leaf stairs of the Ritz is perhaps my most anti-elitist moment ever.”

The voting public has welcomed the Farage guide, with UKIP supporter Simon Williams, “I like Nigel, he’s clearly a man of the people, telling it like it is. Just because the people he’s a ‘man of’ are people like Richard Desmond and Arron Banks shouldn’t distract from his key message.

“Which is that immigrants are bad, obviously.”