Zombies left hugely offended by comparisons to Theresa May’s government

author avatar by 4 years ago

Following Jeremy Corbyn’s denouncement of the ‘zombie government’, leading zombies have objected to the comparison to May’s government and are demanding a public apology.

Chief Zombie Simon ‘Braaains’ Williams confirmed in a statement today that “it really is just lazy stereotyping to suggest that with the grey pallor, shambling gait and a barely restrained urge to kill everyone in the immediate vicinity makes Theresa May anything like our members.

“We are a modern, diverse group of undead and many of us look much healthier than her. Plus we wouldn’t have cocked up Brexit. Anyone with half a brain, or a mouthful of someone else’s brain, could have done a better job.”

Given his apparent recent reanimation, we asked Mr Williams whether Jeremy Corbyn is, in fact, himself a zombie. To which he responded “God no. He applied, but we binned his application. Not nearly enough life in him. And a weird smell of cabbages.”

The vampire community are expected to respond to recent Michael Gove comparisons shortly.