Television audiences would like ITV’s breakfast show to be as visually murky as BBC’s Luther so that they won’t have their cornflakes ruined by the visage of an odious, attention-seeking worm.
The new series of Luther has drawn criticism for being way too dark – not just thematically but in respect of the gloomy visuals which make it hard to discern what the hell is going on.
However, many viewers are now calling for similarly obscure images whenever Piers Morgan appears on their televisions.
“I’m already angry enough in the mornings trying to get the kids ready for school,” said television viewer Simon Williams.
“The last thing I need is an urge to put my fist through the telly to punch a man so full of hot air I’m surprised I’ve never seen him floating above Bristol in the International Balloon Fiesta.
“It would be so much better if Susanna Reid was just sitting next to a silhouette. And perhaps Morgan’s voice could be replaced with that of an actor saying something that makes more sense – perhaps the lyrics to I am the Walrus.
“Actually while you’re at it Good Morning Britain could probably be improved by muting the sound completely. That would at least drown out all the asinine celebrity drivel masquerading as news.”
Although his criticism was fair, we asked if Simon was aware that he doesn’t actually have to watch ITV in the mornings.
He said, “Yeah, but I’d never get the kids dressed without sticking something infantile on the telly to distract them.”