The Brexit ferry debacle is finally over, with the contract being given over to two highly capable London-based businessmen.
Derek and Rodney Trotter, co-owners of Trotter Independent Traders, made the announcement at a press conference this morning alongside Secretary of State for Transport, Chris Grayling.
“What is it? Ships? Yeah! Yeah, we can do ships, can’t we, Rodders?” confirmed Derek Trotter, affectionately known as “Del Boy”.
“Oh bloody ‘ell…” added Rodney.
“Del…what is this? What have you got us into now- oh…I mean…yeah! Yeah we do boats and that…just need some hammers.”
Following the announcement that the contract had been moved from Seaborne Freight, Transport secretary Chris Grayling reassured the public, telling them, “This is a great deal for Britain.
“Derek Trotter has assured us that we can expect some ‘bloody lovely boats’ by September 2019. It’s wonderful to be working alongside such confident titans of British business such as Derek and Rodney, and how nice to invest in a family business at the same time.
“Thank God we’re no longer working with that shoddy outfit from before. I predict absolutely no chaos, mishaps or half-hour chunks of classic British humour as a result of the government making this deal.”
Derek Trotter added “Yep, September, you’ll have some cracking little ferries out there on the water. No ‘oles in ’em, take the missus out for the day, all that. Lovely Jubbly.
“Come on, Rodney, we’ve got to go and buy a big wad of plywood and some nails. This time next year we’ll be millionaires!”