Friday 30 November 2018 by Chris Ballard

Last working day of the year arrives as month long piss-up begins


Man drinking in the pub

The Christmas holidays officially start today, say those not planning to do much work in December.

People up and down the country are planning to spend most of December down the pub because it’s essentially Christmas all month.

Accountant Simon Williams said, “I work hard from January to November – well, you know, I turn up to the office – so it’s only fair that I allow myself to ease off the gas in December.

“I’ll be spending the next month in a variety of watering holes dressed in kooky retro-themed Christmas jumpers. I think of December as the ‘Friday of the year’ so it’s basically just the same as people dressing down and leaving a bit early at the end of the week.

“I’ll probably come in for the first few days, mainly to put up the office decorations and email friends to arrange various drinks. But then I think it’s reasonable to clock off early – probably around the 7th.

“I don’t need to formally book leave because it’s Christmas!

“Given that I’ll always either be drunk or hungover I’m actually being responsible by steering clear of important spreadsheets.

“I won’t take the piss though – I’ll come in for the team Christmas lunch as well as the company-wide evening do.”

Simon’s line manager said, “I agree that hard work should be rewarded with a little downtime. However, it’s tricky for Simon to take his foot off the gas when he ran out of petrol about six months ago.

“Unfortunately we’re going to have to let him go. I’ll tell him as soon as he gets back to the office – so sometime in January.”

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