Following Theresa May’s announcement of her intention to hold a televised debate with Jeremy Corbyn on her Brexit deal, software engineers are frantically attempting to make sure her operating system is as good as it can be.
Theresa May, the famously glitchy android wrapped in human skin that currently and against all odds holds the office of Prime Minister, issued a challenge yesterday to Jeremy Corbyn, who became Labour leader a few years ago after winning a raffle in a village fete, to hold a debate on her Brexit deal.
The announcement prompted Downing Street staff to immediately call their IT department to arrange some upgrades.
Software technician Simon explained, “She’s been going flat out for nearly two years now with no downtime and no upgrades at all – not even a few patches for the obvious bugs that have presented themsevles, and we’re a bit concerned that the public might now suspect she does not actually possess a human heart and emotions.
“Although, if we’re being honest with ourselves, all her years as Home Secretary were a bit of a give away on that front.
“Still, we have nonetheless begun the process of installing the thousands of upgrades necessary to take her a bit beyond her normal modus operandi of endlessly screeching ‘Brexit means Brexit’ or ‘Strong and Stable’, and we hope that these upgrades will carry her through the debate to success.”
Bookmakers are already offering favourable odds on Theresa May crashing and bursting into flames during the first few minutes of the debate.