Sinead O’Connor converts to Jediism

author avatar by 5 years ago

Pop star Sinead O’Connor has announced that she has renounced her long-held Catholic beliefs and converted to Jediism.

Jediism is the religion based on the teachings of part-man, part-bogey – Yoda, and encourages its followers to spend ages mucking about in a swamp trying to lift pots with their mind.

“The Force is the underlying spiritual power in the universe,” said the Nothing Compares To You star.

“It is only through The Force that we can triumph over The Dark Side and restore balance.”

She went on to explain how she became interested in Jediism after watching Star Wars: A Phantom Menace.

“Until that point, I had more questions than answers about what Jediism actually was, but Phantom Menace really tied together what The Force was all about,” she said.

“Midochlorians. I mean, they’re tangible measurable things within all of us. They’re quantifiable and measurable – it’s proper science.

“Previously, The Force was just this wafty vague energy, there was nothing real to connect to.

“But when I saw Star Wars: A Phantom Menace on ITV4 the other day and found out about these midochlorians, I knew it was a religion I could finally believe in.

Ms O’Connor has previously been a Catholic, a Rastafarian, a Muslim, a faery, an Arsenal supporter, and a devotee of ‘The two great ones’ Bill and Ted.

It is expected that her dalliance with Jediism will last until next weekend when she’ll rip up a picture of Yoda whilst singing an acapella version of UB40’s Red, Red, Wine.