The Labour Party has responded to recent accusations that Jeremy Corbyn was hiding from taking a stand over Brexit, by saying he was going to comment on the biggest public march in a decade, but unfortunately took his wife’s charger by mistake.
Party spokesperson Simone Williams explained that her leader’s apparent obliviousness to a huge public protest attacking Conservative policy over Brexit, was not a cynical calculation but rather just ‘serendipity’.
She explained, “Labour under Jeremy is a party of policies, not snide tactics.
“He would have loved to come to this long-scheduled event but as the leader of her majesty’s opposition he has to deal with urgent matters of great geopolitical importance. Like a trip to Switzerland to see a retired Chilean politician that he organized petitions for back in the eighties.
“And then his phone died.”
Mrs Williams also denied that the front bench of the party had been expressly forbidden to join the march even if they supported the idea of a People’s Vote.
“Lies from the Tory media again.
“Nobody was prevented from demonstrating alongside people they agree with. Unfortunately, this march was set in October just as the leaves start to fall. It was all hands on deck to keep party HQ’s entrance free of trip hazards.
“We like to protest, but not at the price of the safety of people coming to our offices on a Saturday.
“We are not an authoritarian organization that demands blind loyalty to one leader above all considerations. Now, excuse me as I have to go rehearse my verses for the Opera commemorating Jeremy getting arrested for protesting apartheid.”