The death of King Duncan of Scotland at the hands of a pair of rogue servants is an entirely believable story and the matter should be closed there, the US Government has confirmed today.
Questions were raised when Duncan visited Macbeth’s castle at Cawdor and was not seen alive again, with many speculating that he had been done away with on the orders of a senior figure in the Royal Family.
However, the US Government, which is currently in negotiations to sell Scotland 100 groats-worth of chainmail, spears and crossbows, has confirmed that it has spoken to Lady Macbeth and fully backs her narrative about a pair of servants carrying out the killing of the former King and noted critic of Macbeth without authorisation.
The death of the servants immediately after the killing was the result of a series of unfortunate accidents which were completely unrelated to the incident, sources added.
“People have pointed fingers and shaken their gory locks at King Macbeth, but you cannot say that he did it,” a spokesman for the State Department told us.
“And any discolouration on Lady Macbeth’s own hands are Fake News and the product of an overactive imagination.”
Observers noted that members of Duncan’s family, including Malcolm and Donalbain, have fled to the United States in fear of their lives from the Macbeth regime – but they needn’t expect that to save them if the deal to chop down Birnam Wood and build a million-florin Golf Course goes ahead because some things are more important.