The ERG has met to formally discuss new excuses for not coming up with their own coherent Brexit plan.
The ERG, or Economic Research Group, is a collection of the worst people alive in Britain today and is funded entirely by shadowy bastards who spend their days hiding from from public view.
Despite endless complaints about the current Brexit plan from Boris Johnson, Jacob Rees-Mogg, Iain Duncan-Smith and other awful posh men, the group has yet to come up with any plan of their own, because obviously they haven’t.
“It is tremendously important that we are able to have a ready collection of excuses for not coming up with a Brexit plan of our own, otherwise we would have to come up with a Brexit plan of our own,” said Mr Rees-Mogg as he cuffed a houseboy for smudging his monocle.
As a result of the meeting, the group has developed the following excuses for not coming up with a Brexit plan of their own;
- We did have a plan, but we lost it
- We do have a plan, we’re just not showing you
- We were too busy thinking of excuses for not having a Brexit plan to think of a Brexit plan
- It’s actually not our job to think of a plan, the government should just keep coming up with different plans until we find one we like
- We got distracted by a nice dog
“We believe these are top quality excuses that will see us through to Brexit without doing any work and still appearing on television every other day,” said Mr Rees-Mogg.
It is understood that thought that the ERG will meet again next week to watch the cricket and find new ways to destroy the country for their own financial benefit.