Thursday 9 August 2018 by Lucas Wilde

Your boss taking an absolutely thunderous shit in the next cubicle


Toilet cubicle

The man who can break your career like a twig is taking a very loud dump just three feet to your left.

Simon Williams, your manager for the past 18 months, gave you a nod and “alright?” as you both entered your respective cubicles to do your dirty business.

“That was something else though” said a wide-eyed Jay Cooper, your colleague who was in the cubicle on the other side.

“A massive sound of straining followed by almost every noise I found really funny when I was six.”

“Then the unmistakable sound of faeces changing in consistency midway through the movement, and the straining sounds replaced by a kind of whimper as if Simon was begging for it to go back in.”

“And the smell. Jesus. I’m surprised we’re not dead.”

“He is our boss, but I just don’t know if I can look him in the eye and take him seriously ever again after this.”

Emerging from the cubicle, a sweating Simon Williams gave you another nod and said “alright?” before washing his hands and leaving as if nothing disgusting had just come hurtling out of his arse.

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