Woman carrying a pair of shoes and a handbag full of vomit looked lovely four hours ago

author avatar by 6 years ago

A woman who was spotted at 11 pm on the streets of Newcastle last night looking like she’d been shat out of a poorly buffalo, was ‘like a princess’ when she left her house at 7 pm, her husband has confirmed.

Katie Williams was out celebrating her 40th birthday with other ‘yummy-mummies’, intending to have a cheap pizza and ‘one or two’ glasses of Prosecco, before getting the 10 pm bus home.

However, despite her best intentions, she was found by a passing police officer shortly after 11 o’clock, barefoot and trying to close the clasp of her oozing clutch bag, whilst crying hysterically and shouting ‘all men are bastards’.

Husband Simon told us today that he was surprised at his wife’s behaviour.

He went on, “I have to say that, whilst this isn’t the first time this had happened, I’m extremely surprised by the general improvement Katie has made.

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“She hadn’t even pissed herself this time and as far as I know, she also didn’t offer the policeman any ‘favours’ to let her go. She’s making a real effort and I’m proud of her for that. She was in prison all night.

“When she returned the following morning, she was very apologetic and said that she’d learned her lesson. She looked very sheepish and a little embarrassed that Officer Fraser, Mike I think his name is, had to drop her off this morning, in his own car, too.

“The police are amazing. He went the extra mile for her and she really appreciated it.”