Man playing on phone in living room really didn’t hear wife tidying kitchen

A man from Winchester has today confirmed that, despite loud crashing of pots and pans being washed and the sound of the dishwasher being loaded ringing through the house, he hadn’t realised that his wife was beavering away relentlessly clearing up his shit until she had almost finished.

Simon Williams then rushed into the kitchen asking “is there anything I can do, love?” just as she put the last cup away.

Mr Williams told us, “I felt awful, I thought that she’d just nipped to the toilet or something and I fully intended to clear up the dinner dishes as soon as she was settled with her feet up.”

Despite using the same excuse for the last 17 years, Mr Williams confirmed that he has never actually helped clean the kitchen.

“It’s true that I haven’t actually helped, but I’ve intended to every night. I blame her lovely but stealthy ways.”

However, Mrs Williams told us that she thought her husband knew full well what she is doing and is ‘just a lazy bastard’.

When we put this to Mr Williams he denied the accusation and promised he’d help tomorrow.

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