Despite holding his ministerial position for two years, Liam Fox is still waiting for someone to come and explain what he’s supposed to do.
His official title is Secretary of State for International Trade, but sources close to him confirmed that he doesn’t really understand what that means.
“It’s quite sad, really,” said a colleague.
“When Liam got the job, he was ever so excited and he went out and bought a new suit, some shiny shoes and some new pencils and he got in to work all early on his first day.
“Ever since then, he just sits on his own in his office waiting for someone to explain to him what his job is and what he’s actually supposed to be doing.”
Dr Fox has, apparently, been doing his best to fit in.
“Oh yes, he’s keen. Very keen,” said the colleague.
“You can work past his office, and if he sees you then he’ll pick up his phone and say something like ‘Liam here, let’s do some trade – internationally!’.
“But he’s not really fooling anyone, he really hasn’t got a clue how to spend his days. There is only so much colouring in he can do.”
There is a concern that if no one explains exactly what his job is, the nation runs the risk of Dr Fox trying to figure out for himself what it is he should be doing each day.
“Well, that’s everyone’s main concern,” said the colleague.
“Liam Fox using his initiative? It would be a catastrophe for the country.”