The First Lady was spotted making a daring and desperate escape just hours after her first public appearance in weeks.
Melania Trump had joined her husband yesterday for an event to honour gold star families, in a not so subtle attempt by the President to reassure the public that his wife had not disappeared and to put to bed rumours that she had left him.
However, a number of onlookers travelling along Pennsylvania Avenue have reported seeing a vintage motorcycle jump the border fence before speeding off into the sunset.
Eyewitness Chuck Williams told us, “Whenever I’m passing the White House I always look out for distress flares and the like from the First Lady, but I never expected her to come flying over the perimeter fence on a Triumph motorcycle glad in full leathers.
“It was a pretty ballsy jump if you ask me. I always had money on her escaping by a tunnel she’s been secretly digging all these months, or being snuck out in the dead of night disguised as a cleaner thanks to the help of a kindly secret service agent who had taken pity on her.”
President Trump, returning from Madame Tussauds this morning dragging a large Melania-sized cardboard box behind him told us, “Reports of Melania leaving me are FAKE NEWS!
“You’ll see her standing beside me at this afternoon’s press conference, assuming she’s not asked to stand too near a hot lamp or a radiator.
“She’s lost her voice though, so please don’t ask her any questions.”