Nigerian Princes and horny Russian women to be hardest hit by new email opt-in laws
8 years ago
The introduction of GDPR opt-in laws for email risk wealthy Nigerians and lovelorn Russian women being unable to contact potential benefactors, reports have warned.
Unsolicited emails, through which untold thousands of women from the former Soviet bloc have formed healthy and fulfilling relationships with lucky British men after falling in love with their online profiles, are to be severely restricted under the new laws.
At the same time, Nigerian ministers and members of their royal family will struggle to distribute the untold riches held in lost bank accounts, forgotten bequests and unexpected bouts of generosity for which their country is best known.
Lonely beautiful Russian Woman Anatalya Simentov, 21, told us that the law prohibiting her from contacting the love of her life, 47-year-old Darren Watkins from Wakefield, had left her ‘heartbroken’.
“I have so much love to give to right man with good heart and easily memorised passwords,” she told us through tears.
“I can only pray that if I break the law he will not call the police, like all the others.”
Meanwhile, Prince-Minister Judge Mister Adelowe Dejibasu is desperately trying to find the lucky recipient of TWENTY-ONE MILLION AMERICAN DOLLARS by midnight, or the opportunity of a lifetime may be lost forever.
“I pray in the name of Jesus that you are trusting and contact me for the money that is owed to you before it is too late,” he said.
“Because after midnight, it will be illegal and of course that will stop me from ever contacting you again.”
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