Charles to walk Meghan down aisle as neither her nor Harry’s father available

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Prince Charles has stepped up to walk Meghan Markle down the aisle as she marries his not-son.

The Prince of Wales volunteered in the absence of both Thomas Markle and James Hewitt.

“It’s very good of him,” said a palace spokesperson.

“He’s very fond of both Harry and Meghan despite the fact they are both vague acquaintances of his rather than relatives.

“We did think about asking James Hewitt until someone reminded us that was still a massive secret and we were all likely to end up killed in a Paris car crash if we went ahead with that plan.

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“The prince has been asked not to mumble similar threats as he walks Meghan down the aisle, and to at least save such words until she actually starts acting up, rather than just following the Duke of Edinburgh’s forecast.”

Royal correspondent, Jay Cooper, said, “My job title is redundant and I know nothing more than Google.

“Anyway, this is a lovely gesture by Prince Charles, and it will create the wonderful illusion that he’s into all of this and wouldn’t rather be sat down in a comfortable chair, miles away from the wedding between a former actress and some bloke he kind-of raised.”