‘So you’re the one destined to kill me in battle’ mutters Prince George

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Prince George is keeping a beady eye on his baby brother.

As the prophecy foretold, Prince George and his brother are destined to meet on the battlefield in the Second War of The Roses in the year 2048.

“And the thus far unnamed Prince will defeat the evil Prince George in hand-to-hand combat as their armies watch in stony silence,” confirmed Simon Williams, the Royal fortune teller.

“The vision came to Prince George in a dream, just before he shat himself awake – which is perfectly understandable bearing in mind he had just witnessed his own death.

“Since then he’s been limbering up on the climbing frame, watching videos of army training drills and befriending as many children of the Royal Marines as possible in preparation for the future war.

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“He hopes to take control and change his fate… but we’ve all seen enough Terminator films to know how tricky that can be, especially when the first half of his life is going to consist of being dragged to the opening of new swimming baths, libraries and orphanages. It will greatly distract from his training.”

Prince George giggled, “Nobody can stop the Dark Prince.”