Tuesday 17 April 2018 by Lucas Wilde

President Trump condemns Wakanda for not supporting Syria strikes


Donald Trump on Wakanda

Donald Trump is angry with the fictional nation of Wakanda.

The technologically advanced nation inhabited by Black Panther and Friends in the film of the same name (we’ve been through this; the film was NOT called Black Panther and Friends – Ed) has apparently not even sent the President a note saying “well done”.

“Maybe Wakanda ain’t so great,” shrugged a disappointed Trump.

“And they’ve got some great technology, folks. So great. They could have really helped us out. But they’ve remained silent on this issue. Very sad.

“America would have been first to Wakanda’s aid if they ever asked for it; I guess not everybody is as big a humanitarian as what I am. I have a long history of supporting black people and ethnic minorities.”

Marvel Studios spokesperson, Simon Williams, said “no, of course Wakanda isn’t fucking real.

“We made a film, not a documentary.

“That being said, if Black Panther were a real person, he probably wouldn’t be all kinds of up for bombing people in a token gesture towards a war that has already been lost long ago.

“He wouldn’t put up with your shitty handshake, either.”

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