Tory politicians oddly keen to wish all British Jews a good Passover

author avatar by 5 years ago

Although the Jewish holidays have been largely ignored by Westminster so far, 2018 has seen a flurry of Conservative MPs causing great bemusement by wishing good tidings for Pesach in terrible mangled Hebrew.

Simon Williams, Conservative MP for Eastbourne, said that he had always held the interest of British Jews at heart. It’s just that this year he felt an inexplicable compulsion to do so as publicly as possible.

He continued, “British Jews have been a vital part of our community since they came over from, I’m guessing, Germany.

“What would modern Britain be without fish and chips, Uri Geller and some savvy ways to make the pennies grow? I love them and I love Israel. And I’m not even on Facebook.”

Mr Williams denied the conspicuous display of sympathy towards Judaism was a concerted attempt to highlight Jeremy Corbyn’s problem with antisemitism.

“Nonsense. I always try to wish them well but they’ve got this weird calendar so it’s tricky to pin down the dates.

“Slippery lot they are. I’ve been several times to their church thingy. You know. The one where you have to take over your shoes. I think they were Jews. My assistant said they didn’t eat bacon.

“I have many Jewish acquaintances, who would be most welcome to join my golf club regardless of what happened to their membership applications before.. And so I take this opportunity to wish Chag Chame… Chamoo… .Haame… A happy Jewish Easter to everyone. You showed that Pharaoh what’s what. Enjoy your falafels.

“I love falafels.”