Hackers behind the breach of popular food tracking app MyFitnessPal are said to be shocked at the type of crappy food you seem to subsist upon.
With reports saying that the detail of 150 million accounts could have been compromised, hacking groups have insisted that your food diary is by far the worst.
“The only good thing I can say about your account is that you’re honest,” explained one of the hackers.
“Not many people would admit to pizza for breakfast and a packet of chocolate biscuits for lunch, but here you are, religiously entering it several times a week. You’re like a relentless shit-guzzling machine. If it wasn’t so disgusting, I think I’d be impressed.
“We thought about doing something financially-lucrative with your details, but having seen your diet, I think we’ll just wait until you die and then steal your entire identity – honestly, looking at your sodium stats and calorific intake it’s really not going to be that long.”
Many MyFitnessPal users have been left surprised at the lengths hackers will go to in order to find out how much they eat.
User Simon Williams told us, “Seriously, if I were a hacker I’d be more interested in getting details that have some value, or might be considered ‘secret’ – like hacking the Pentagon – but this seems like an awful lot of trouble for very little reward.
“What possible value could my carbohydrate intake have for you? If you want to know everything that I put in my mouth just follow me on Instagram.”