Momentum accused of being a cult after burning Owen Smith in giant wicker man

author avatar by 6 years ago

The grassroots activism group Momentum has once again had to deny cult-like behaviour after members seized Owen Smith, who had just defied Jeremy Corbyn over Brexit, placed him inside a huge wooden statue and set it ablaze before donning masks and copulating wildly in front of the flames.

Bearer of The Exalted Vision Jon Lansman, the founder of Momentum, claimed this was yet another attack by a neo-liberal establishment terrified of Jeremy Corbyn and his vision of a truly egalitarian world.

He told reporters, “Time and time again they malign our movement and our leader, Jeremy Corbyn.

“If Jeremy even talks to a pro-Palestine campaigner, he’s called an ‘anti-Semite’. If he wants to see evidence before condemning Russia, he’s a ‘Soviet spy’. If we so much as put on our ceremonial robes and offer the life force of the unbeliever Owen to the spirits then we’re ‘zealots’.

“They’re getting desperate because our light is not dimming and the coming of Jeremy is unstoppable.”

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Mr Lansman maintained that their fear of a leader propelled by the base was the reason so many had tried to slander Jeremy Corbyn and his support.

He went on, “Our actions are typical of any political movement aligned with international socialism.

“We’ve spent weeks walking around neighbourhoods knocking on doors. We’ve joined local groups to deselect MPs we deem unfaithful to our leader. We held a day of tweeting #WeAreNotACult together and encouraged hundreds of thousands to rhythmically chant his name at mass gatherings.

“Does that sound like a cult to you?”

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