Friends Reunited twitches an eyelid as family plays news of Facebook’s demise at hospital bedside

author avatar by 6 years ago

Former social media site Friends Reunited has apparently shown the briefest signs of life, following years of being in a vegetative state, its loved ones have reported today.

It comes after the site went into a coma in early 2016, and friends and relatives have pleaded with doctors since then to not turn off life support, insisting that, against all odds, it may become relevant again.

Doctors held out little hope for the site, which had shown no signs of sensible life since well before it went off-line and had been ‘unwell for some time’ prior to that date.

However, when BBC breakfast news reported that Facebook could be in trouble this morning, the first signs of movement in more than two years became visible.

Controversy surrounded the site early in its hospital stay, when it was reported that it had snuck out of bed one night and pulled the plug from MySpace, which was found dead the following morning.

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However, there was no evidence of such an act taking place and it has continued to have a stream of visitors wishing it well, many of whom have left gifts of Nirvana t-shirts and signed photographs of Richard O’Brien, with Dominik Diamond once leaving a Gamesmaster headband, embroidered with the words ‘for the good times, my old friend’.

However, although the site is showing signs of life, doctors have been quick to manage expectations, reminding people that, ‘even if Friends Reunited makes it through this and gets fully operational again, people should remember, it was shite anyway’.